SEBUAH KESAKSIAN……
Cacatan Hitam
SEGITIGA CINTA BERSELIMUT MISTERI
PERCINTAAN adalah fajar dari suatu perkawinan, sedangkan perkawinan merupakan senja dari suatu percintaan. Senja itu akan datang menjelang manakala cinta dan kesetiaan bagai berjalan di rel kereta. Satu tujuan namun tak sama. Bagaikan air dan minyak tanah. Takkan pernah bisa menyatu lagi.
Memang pahit kenyataan ini, bahkan hampir-hampir aku tak kuat untuk menghadapinya. Kalau saja bunuh diri bukanlah suatu dosa, pasti akan kujadikan sebagai salah satu pilihan untuk lari dari kenyataan itu. Ya, rasanya lebih baik mati berkalang tanah daripada harus hidup terbenam dalam duka nestapa yang amat menyakitkan.
“Tabahkan hatimu, Widhi! Tuhan tidak akan memberikan cobaan kepada makhlukNya melebihi kekuatan si makhluk itu dalam menghadapinya,”nasehat Lita, sahabat yang selalu setia memberikan suntikan semangat hidup untukku.
Bagiku apa yang dikatakan oleh Lita itu sudah tak lagi mengandung kebenaran. Apakah pengkhianatan seorang pria terhadap perempuan yang selama tujuh tahun setia mendampinginya bisa dikategorikan sebagai suatu cobaan dari Tuhan? Aku bukannya seorang yang tidak beragama atau menganggap Tuhan tidak ada. Tapi rasanya naif sekali jika kekonyolan yang dilakukan oleh suamiku itu harus kuanggap sebagai cobaan dari Tuhan.
Sambil bercucuran air mata, aku pernah berkata seperti ini kepada Lita, “Apakah Tuhan pantas memberikan cobaan seperti ini terhadap diriku? Kenapa Dia tidak memberikan cobaan dalam bentuk yang lain. Ya, misalnya saja aku harus kehilangan Mas Bani untuk selamanya. Aku lebih rela jika itu yang terjadi, daripada dia harus melakukan pengkhianatan seperti ini. Coba katakan padaku, apakah Tuhan adil terhadap diriku, Lita?”
“Kau tidak boleh berkata seperti itu, Widhi!” Lita menarik nafas berat. “Kata orang-orang bijak, setiap kejadian, walau itu buruk sekalipun, pasti akan ada hikmahnya. Kau harus percaya itu!”
Kucoba menyusut air mata yang telah menganaksungai di atas wajahku. “Entahlah, Lit! Tapi jujur saja, andai bunuh diri bukanlah suatu dosa, pasti aku telah melakukannya, cetusku dengan suara yang patah.
Lita memelukku. Dengan suara gemetar dia berbisik di telingaku, “Cobalah berpikir lebih bijak, Widhi. Kasihan Ayah dan Ibumu yang sudah tua itu andai kau harus segera menghadap Illahi. Berikanlah hidupmu untuk mereka. Bayangkanlah, apa jadinya mereka andai kau pergi untuk selamanya, padahal mereka sangat membutuhkan perhatian serta kasih sayangmu.”
Kata-kata Lita yang terakhir ini benar-benar telah menusukkan kesedihan dalam ulu hatiku yang sangat dalam. Aku pun menangis sejadi-jadinya, sampai tak terasa Lita pun turut larut dalam tangisku.
Apa yang dikatakan Lita memang benar. Apa jadinya Ayah dan Ibuku yang mulai sering sakit-sakitan itu jika aku harus memilih mati hanya karena menyerah pada kenyataan. Mereka pasti akan merasa sangat kehilangan diriku. Siapa yang akan mengurusi mereka nantinya. Mungkin mereka akan hidup lebih menderita dibandingkan diriku andai aku memilih mati secepat ini.
Benar kata Lita. Aku memang harus memberikan hidupku buat kedua orang tua yang telah berpeluh darah melahirkan dan membesarkanku, walau aku sendiri harus berenang dalam lumpur nestapa. Demi mereka, aku harus mencoba tabah menghadapi keadaan. Siapa yang akan mengurusi mereka andai aku memilih pergi untuk selamanya? Bukankah hanya kepadaku mereka bisa menggantungkan harapan, sebab satu-satunya adik lelakiku kini harus hidup merantau di negeri orang dengan memilih jalan hidup sebagai seorang TKI. Sementara, adikku yang perempuan telah lama pergi menghadap Illahi karena suatu kecelakaan yang merenggut jiwanya.
Demi kedua orang tuaku aku memang tak boleh menyerah. Aku harus berusaha menyadarkan Mas Bani. Tapi bagaimana caranya? Bukankah hati Mas Bani sudah sekeras batu?
“Cobalah kau cari orang pintar yang mungkin punya ilmu untuk memisahkan suamimu dengan perempuan itu,” nasihat Lita di hari yang lain.
Usulan sahabatku ini akhirnya memang menjadi salah satu solusi yang harus kulakukan. Sampai suatu hari, dengan diantar Lita, kami mendatangi rumah seorang Kyai yang katanya memiliki segudang ilmu gaib yang bisa memutar balikkan keadaan sesuai yang dikehendakinya. Tapi malangnya, bukannya jalan keluar yang kudapatkan, Pak Kyai malah memintaku agar tabah dalam menghadapi kenyataan.
“Setelah tujuh tahun menikah dan tidak memiliki seorang anakpun, maka sebagai suami adalah wajar jika menginginkan menikah lagi. Saya sarankan agar Ibu tabah menerima kenyataan ini, sebab nyatanya Ibu memang memiliki kekurangan.”Demikian nasihat Kyai itu, dan sejujurnya kata-katanya ini sangat menyinggung perasaanku.
Benar aku dan Mas Bani sudah menikah selama tujuh tahun dan tak diberi anak walau seorang pun. Tapi sama sekali tak benar bila kenyataan itu terjadi adalah karena kekurangan yang ada pada diriku. Ya, lewat nasihatnya itu Pak Kyai ingin mengatakan bahwa aku adalah perempuan mandul, sehingga dia menyarankan “agar aku merelakan suami untuk menikah lagi demi mendapatkan keturunan. Ini sama sekali salah. Sudah lebih dari tiga kali kuperiksakan diriku kepada dokter ahli, dan semuanya mengatakan bahwa aku bukanlah seorang perempuan yang mandul. Rahimku subur dan potensial untuk hamil. Karena itu, apakah benar jika Mas Bani ingin menikah lagi dengan alasan karena aku mandul? Padahal, mungkin yang mandul itu adalah Mas Bani sendiri.
“Aku tidak mandul! Aku sudah memeriksakan diriku ke dokter, dan dokter mengatakan bahwa aku tidak mandul. Mungkin kaulah yang mandul!” Bentak Mas Bani bila aku mengajaknya sama-sama pergi ke dokter untuk memeriksakan diri.
Mas Bani memang selalu begitu. Entah karena apa dia selalu menolak setiap kali kuajak bersama-sama memeriksakan diri ke dokter. Padahal, dengan bersama-sama memeriksakan diri ke dokter, maka kami akan sama-sama tahu pula siapa sesungguhnya yang mandul. Atau mungkin Mas Bani sengaja menolaknya karena sesungguhnya dialah yang mandul?
Kecurigaan tersebut memang selalu membayang dalam benakku. Karena itulah aku merasa benar-benar dipecundangi olehnya ketika dia meminta izin untuk menikah lagi dengan alasan karena kemandulanku.
“Demi Allah, Mas! Sudah lebih tiga kali kuperiksakan kondisi rahimku ke dokter, dan dokter mengatakan semuanya baik-baik saja. Aku bukanlah perempuan mandul seperti yang kau tuduhkan itu. Aku malah curiga justeru kaulah yang mandul!”
Plak! Tamparan Mas Bani mendarat telak di atas pipiku. Dia memang selalu marah besar bila kukatakan kalau dirinyalah yang mandul. Dan aku tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa kecuali menangis. Kalau sudah begitu biasanya Mas Bani akan langsung meninggalkan rumah. Gampang diduga ke mana perginya. Dia pasti ke rumah Mila, perempuan sundal yang entah dengan cara apa bisa memikat suamiku sampai dia begitu tergila-gila padanya.
Demi menyelamatkan bahtera rumah tanggaku dengan Mas Bani, pernah juga aku mendatangi tempat praktek seorang paranormal yang terletak di daerah pinggiran Cianjur, Jawa Barat. Entah ilmu apa yang digunakannya, paranormal muda ini bisa dengan akurat menggambarkan tampang Mila, perempuan yang digila-gilai oleh suamiku. Misalnya saja dia bisa tahu wajah Mila yang blasteran Arab-Jawa, bahkan dia juga bisa menebak daerah asal Mila yang dari Jawa Timur. Persisnya dari Banyuwangi.
“Gadis itu memang memiliki ilmu keturunan yang sulit sekali untuk ditaklukkan. Tapi Insya Allah, saya akan berusaha menolong Mbak,” kata paranormal berwajah klimis yang mengingatkan saya pada aktor sinetron Syahrul Gunawan itu.
Anehnya, sepulang dari kediaman si paranormal, malamnya aku langsung terserang demam tinggi. Aku menggigil di balik selimut tebal, dengan suhu badan di atas 38 drajat celsius. Beberapa tablet Paracetamol kuminum. Meski panas dingin yang mendera tubuhku tak kunjung sembuh, namun syukur Alhamdulillah tablet-tablet itu bisa menghadirkan kantuk. Menjelang pukul 01 dinihari, dengan Ibu yang selalu setia mendampingiku, akhirnya aku tertidur pulas. Herannya, dalam tidur inilah aku mengalami mimpi yang aneh sekaligus menakutkan.
Dalam mimpi itu, aku ditemui oleh seorang nenek berpakaian hitam. Meski wajahnya sudah sangat keriput, namun garis-garis wajahnya jelas sekali sangat mirip dengan Mila. Si nenek mengejar-ngejarku, sampai kelelahan teramat sangat mendera tubuhku. Serasa begitu lama nenek itu mengejarku, bahkan nafasku hampir habis dibuatnya. Aku akhirnya menyerah. Si nenek berhasil menangkapku. Dia menjambak rambutku dengan keras, dan aku pun menjerit kesakitan. Bersamaan dengan itu aku langsung terjaga dari tidur.
“Astagfirullahal’adziim… kamu bermimpi, Nak!” Cetus Ibu sambil segera memelukku. “Widhi takut, Buuu…!” Cetusku pula sambil mendekap Ibu. Seperti anak balita, dinihari itu aku menangis dalam pelukan Ibu, sementara dari kamar sebelah sayup-sayup kudengar Ayah yang tengah melantunkan ayat-ayat suci Al Qur’an. Di mana Mas Bani? Waktu itu sudah dua hari dia tidak pulang ke rumah.
Entah mengapa, mimpi itu begitu membekas dalam alam bawah sadarku. Aku merasa amat tercekam. Karena itulah pagl-ipagi sekali kuputuskan untuk menghubungi paranormal di Cianjur itu lewat telepon genggamnya. Secara mendetil kuceritakan semua apa yang telah kualami, terutama perihal mimpi aneh itu. Lalu, apa tanggapan si paranormal?
“Mohon maaf, Mbak! Seperti saya katakan, perempuan bernama Mila itu memiliki ilmu keturunan yang sangat hebat dan sulit ditaklukkan. Mimpi yang dialami oleh Mbak semalam, menurut saya adalah suatu isyarat bahwa Mila tidak suka dengan langkah-langkah Mbak yang berusaha menghubungi orang pintar. Ya, saya menduga Mila selalu memantau apa yang Mbak lakukan.”
Penjelasan tersebut benar-benar membuatku shock. Kalau benar Mila bisa memantau setiap gerak-gerikku, berarti diam-diam akupun berada dalam ancamannya. Tentu saja bukan semata-mata ancaman yang bersifat fisik, tapi juga ancaman yang sifatnya gaib.
“Lantas, apa yang harus saya lakukan selanjutnya?”
“Tawakallah, Mbak! Insya Allah saya akan membantu dengan sekuat tenaga!” Jawab si paranormal.
Setelah sekitar sebulan berlalu, tak ada perkembangan berarti yang kuhadapi. Malahan, Mas Bani dengan nekad menyampaikan rencananya yang akan segera menikahi Mila.
Rencana Mas Bani itu memang cukup memukul batinku. Namun, aku masih berusaha untuk tidak memberikan reaksi yang berlebihan. Aku hanya menangis, tanpa sepatah katapun memberikan komentar, baik itu memberi persetujuan maupun penolakan. Tapi dari tangisku Mas Bani pasti sudah tahu pernah merelakan dirinya untuk menikah lagi Ya,perempuan mana sih yang Sudi dimadu,apalagi dengan suatu alasan yang tidak jelas?
Mas Bani yang dulu kukenal lembut dan penuh pengertian serta kasih sayang,agaknya memang telah berubah menjadi seoeang yang berdarah dingin. Bagai seorang pembunuh yang sadis, dia sama sekali tak merasa iba mendengar tangis korbannya, sebab yang terpenting baginya adalah bisa melampiaskan hawa nafsu. Begitulah yang terjadi! Mas Bani mana peduli dengan tangisku. Dia tak mungkin mengurungkan niatnya untuk menikahi Mila.
“Mungkin sudah takdirmu hidup dimadu,Nak! Karena itulah kau harus berusaha untuk ikhlas menerima kenyataan ini. Mudah-mudahan saja Gusti Allah akan memberikan jalan terbaik buatmu,” demikian nasihat Ibuku ketika denga tangis kuceritakan rencana Mas Bani yang ingin segera menikah lagi.
Ibu benar. Aku memang harus menerima kenyataan hidup dimadu, sebab ini mungkin adalah bagian dari takdir yang harus kujalani. Apalagi poligami itu bukanlah sesuatu yang dilarang menurut agama yang Kuanut. Dan aku juga merasa telah cukup berusaha untuk memisahkan hubungan cinta antara Mas Bani dan Mila. Toh, semua Usahaku itu hanya berakhir dengan kesia-siaan. Jadi pada akhirnya aku harus memasrahkan semua ini pada ketetapan Tuhan. Bukankah manusia hanya dapat berusaha, dan pada akhirnya hanya Tuhanlah yang menentukan semuanya. Jadi, pada akhirnya, seperti nasihat Ibuku,aku memang harus berusaha ikhlas untuk menerima kenyataan. Ya,kenyataan harus hidup dimadu!
Ketika aku tengah bersusah payah memupuk.keikhlasan dalam hatiku untuk menerima sebuah kenyataan yang teramat menyakitkan, Mas Bani kembali menggodam batinku dengan sangat telak. Entah setan apa , yang meracuni akal sehatnya, pria yang selama 7 tahun hidup seranjang denganku ini tiba-tiba mengutarakan niat yang bagiku amat gila. Ya, dia ingin melangsungkan pesta pernikahannya dengan Mila di rumahku, rumah yang selama 7 tahun ini menjadi tempatku berteduh bersama Mas Bani, juga bersama kedua orang tuaku.
“Kegilaan apa yang sebenarnya ingin kau lakukakan, Mas? Belum cukupkah kau menyiksa diriku? Aku sudah berusaha pasrah dan ikhlas mengizinkanmu menikahi perempuan itu. Tapi aku tidak akan pernah rela mengizinkan kalian melangsungkan pesta pernikahan di rumah ini. Coba bayangkan, bagaimana nanti anggapan para tetangga terhadap kita, terhadap diriku, Mas!”
Mas Bani membalas keberatanku itu dengan sengit, “Aku tidak peduli dengan penilaian tetangga. Ini rumahku, dan aku berhak berbuat apa saja di rumah ini. Peduli setan dengan mereka. Bahkan, kalau kau tetap bersikukuh ndak mengizinkanku melaksanakan pesta permikahanku dengan Mila di rumah ini, maka kau berhak secepatnya angkat kaki dari rumah ini.”
Sesuatu terasa menyesak dalam dadaku. Dengan suara gemetar kuberanikan diri untuk membalasnya, “Jadi, Mas mengusirku. Mas rupanya lupa kalau aku juga punya andil dalam membangun rumah ini.”
“Aku tahu itu!” Potong Mas Bani semakin sengit. “Tapi kau juga harus tahu kalau rumah ini berdiri di atas tanah warisan milikku, dan kau tidak berhak apa-apa atas tanah warisan itu. Kalau kau memang ingin mengungkit-ungkit sumbanganmu terhadap rumah ini, silahkan saja kau pilih bagian mana yang akan kau bongkar. Ayo, cepat bongkar, hah! Aku tidak akan menghalang-halangimu.”
Mas Bani sungguh seperti orang yang sedang kesetanan. Mengapa hal yang sungguh di luar batas kewajaran itu harus diungkit-ungkitnya. Memang benar rumah yang sama-sama kami bangun itu berdiri di atas tanah warisan dari orang tua Mas Bani. Tapi, apa pantas dia berkata seperti tadi? Sungguh sulit dipercaya kalau pria yang selama ini kukenal sangat bijak itu tiba-tiba berubah menjadi seorang yang berpikiran sangat picik. Apakah Mas Bani sungguh-sungguh sadar dengan apa yang dikatakannya? Ataukah hal itu terjadi di luar kesadarannya?
Aku memang tak dapat memastikannya. Tapi, sebagai orang yang masih punya harga diri, tentu saja aku merasa tersinggung berat dengan ucapan Mas Bani tadi. Demikian pula dengan Ayah dan Ibuku yang kebetulan mendengar pertengkaran kami tersebut. Mereka tentu juga sangat tersinggung. Buktinya, setelah pertengkaran itu berlalu dan Mas Bani telah pergi, kulihat Ayah dan Ibu telah selesai berkemas kemas.
“Bapak dan Ibu mau pulang saja, Nak! Biarkan kami menempati rumah tua milik kami,” kata Ibu sambil menahan linangan air matanya.
Tak kuasa menahan kesedihan, aku pun langsung menghambur ke dalam pelukannya. Tangisku pun langsung mengembang pilu seperti anak kecil yang takut ditinggal pergi oleh Ibunya.
“Widhi juga ingin pulang, Bu. Widhi ingin tinggal bersama Ayah dan Ibu, cetusku di antara sedu sedan tangis.
“Itu mungkin lebih baik buatmu. Kami sejujurnya tak tahan melihat penderitaanmu selama ini, ujar Ayah yang selama ini memang lebih banyak diam, sebab dia memang tak pernah mau turut campur dengan urusan rumah tangga anaknya.
Sejak hari itu, aku dan kedua orang tuaku memilih meninggalkan rumahku. Ya, rumah yang kubangun bersama Mas Bani, suami yang dulu sangat mencintaiku. Secara kebetulan sekitar dua tahun lalu aku memang mendapatkan uang pesangon yang lumayan besar setelah aku di-PHK dari perusahaan yang selama 5 tahun aku bekerja di sana.
Dengan uang pesangon itu, ditambah dengan uang tabungan Mas Bani, akhirnya kami bisa membangun rumah yang selama ini sangat kami idam-idamkan. Rumah itu memang lumayan besar. Luas bangunannya sekitar 8 X 12 meter, dengan halaman yang lumayan lapang, dan berdiri di atas areal tanah warisan dari orang tua Mas Bani yang baik Ayah maupun Ibunya sudah lama meninggal dunia, sedangkan adik dan kakak Mas Bani sudah menjadi orang-orang berhasil.
Setelah rumah itu selesai dibangun, atas saran Mas Bani akhirnya kami memboyong Ayah dan Ibuku untuk tinggal bersama. Kami sebetulnya tinggal di desa yang sama. Hanya saja rumah Ayah dan Ibu terletak di perbatasan desa tetangga. Rumah kayu kedua orang tuaku itu sudah relatif tua umurnya. Atas pertimbangan itulah aku menyetujui saran Mas Bani, di samping juga karena ayah yang memang mulai sering sakit-sakitan sehingga Ibu yang sudah tua cukup kerepotan mengurusnya. Kalau tinggal serumah denganku, tentu aku akan jauh lebih bisa membantu Ibu dalam merawat Ayah.
Semula, keadaan memang berjalan baik. Mas Bani amat senang dengan kehadiran Ayah dan Ibuku. Rumah kami yang lumayan besar itu pun serasa lebih semarak lagi. Rumah tangga kami juga berlangsung dengan harmonis. Nyaris tak pernah ada masalah walau sekecil apa pun. Paling-paling aku sering kesal dengan kemanjaan Mas Bani yang kerap menginginkan yang tidak-tidak. Contoh saja, dia sering minta bercinta di kamar mandi. Padahal, di rumah kami hanya ada satu kamar mandi. Apa jadinya kalau kami sedang hot-hotnya bercinta di dalamnya, tiba-tiba saja ada Ayah atau Ibuku ingin membuang hajat. Bisa dibayangkan, tentu repot bukan? Bagaimana nanti penilaian mereka kalau tiba-tiba melihat aku dan Mas Bani sama-sama keluar dari dari kamar mandi? Ah, menggelikan sekali!
Tetapi, kemesraan, kelucuan, dan kehamonisan Itu memang harus berlalu. Sekitar setengah tahun silam semuanya berubah.Mas Bani yang selama ini selalu hangat, periang penuh cinta dan perhatian tiba- tiba menjelma menjadi sosok yang sama sekali berbeda. Dia mudah sekali tersinggung, mau menang sendiri jarang senyum, dan begitu mudah memperbesar persoalan yang sesungguhnya kecil dan sepele hanya untuk melampiaskan kemarahannya. Pokoknya, di mataku Mas Bani telah berubah menjadi seorang yang sangat menjengkelkan. Bahkan kemudian kejengkelan itu memantikkan api permusuhan di antara kami, terlebih ketika Mas Bani selalu menyudutkanku sebagai seorang perempuan mandul.
Api permusuhan itu semakin berkobar ketika aku pada akhirnya tahu apa sesungguhnya yang menyebabkan sikap Mas Bani berubah seratus delapan puluh derajat. Rupanya dia sedang jatuh cinta. Menurut informasi yang berhasil kusadap dari sejumlah sumber, di kantor Mas Bani ada seorang staf baru yang bertampang kece dan berbodi selangit. Milawati namanya. Dia gadis asal Jawa Timur. Entah dengan proses seperti apa dia akhirnya diterima sebagai karyawan bagian staf personalia di perusahaan tempat Mas Bani bekerja, yang kebetulan memang menduduki jabatan sebagai Manajer Personalia.
Sejak kehadiran Milawati, Mas Bani berubah total. Jelas dia jatuh cnta kepada gadis berwajah oval dengan hidung bangir dan mata agak belo itu. Tapi, benarkah dengan semudah itu Mas Bani bisa jatuh cinta kepada Milawati? Bukankah selama ini dia sudah cukup kenyang berurusan dan bergaul dengan gadis-gadis cantik, sebab hampir 90 persen buruh yang bekerja di perusahaan dengan Mas Bani menjabat sebagai personalianya itu memang adalah buruh wanita. Bahkan, aku yakin masih banyak yang jauh lebih cantik bila dibandingkan dengan Mila. Kalaulah mau diberikan nilai lebih mungkin hanya bagian pinggul dan dadanya Saja yang jauh lebih besar jika dibandingkan yang lain, sebab ini memang sudah menjadi ciri khas perempuan keturunan Timur Tengah. Tapi untuk kelebihan inipun sesungguhnya bukanlah tipe Mas Bani. Aku tahu persis dia kurang suka dengan perempuan yang punya bokong dan dada besar.
Lantas, mengapa dengan semudah itu Mas Bani bisa jatuh cinta kepada Mila, bahkan amat tergila-gila padanya? Apakah ada sesuatu yang terjadi di luar kontrol alam sadar Mas Bani? Maksudku, apakah mungkin Mas Bani terkena guna-guna, pelet, gendam asmara, atau apa pun namanya itu?
Baik Lita ataupun sahabat-sahabatku lainnya yang peduli dengan keadaan rumah tanggaku, memang meyakini kalau Mila telah “mengerjai” Mas Bani. Pada awalnya aku sama sekali tidak mempercayai sinyalemen Ini. Meski terasa pahit dan menyakitkan, pada awalnya aku tetap coba meyakini bahwa kecintaan Mas Bani terhadap Mila ada hal yang wajar. Dibandingkan diriku, Mila itu memang jauh lebih menggairahkan. Setelah 7 tahun berumah tangga dengan diriku, bisa jadi Mas Bani bosan dengan perempuan langsing sepertiku, dan dia ingin mencoba perempuan yang lebih padat berisi. Sekali lagi, meskipun ini amat pahit dan menyakitkan, tapi aku musti sadar bahwa semua pria memang selalu tertarik dengan kemudaan, tubuh seksi, dan sesuatu yang baru.
Dugaanku itu rupanya tidak sepenuhnya benar. Kecintaan Mas Bani pada Milawati rupanya di luar batas kewajaran. Sebagai bukti adalah sikap Mas Bani yang sama sekali berubah, bahkan terasa amat asing di mataku. Dan yang lebih parah dari semuanya adalah niat Mas Bani yang ingin melangsung pesta pernikahan dengan Mila di rumah milik kami, rumah yang juga ditinggali oleh kedua orang tuaku. Coba bayangkan, lelaki mana yang bisa bertindak segila ini? Separah apa pun kecintaan seorang lelaki kepada perempuan yang, taruhlah, jauh lebih cantik dibandingkan isterinya, pasti tidak akan melakukan tindakan edan seperti Mas Bani. Menikah lagi di rumah yang ditempati isteri pertamanya dan kedua orang tuanya!
Tetapi ini memang terjadi terhadap diri Mas Bani. Tanpa rasa malu atau sungkan walau sedikitpun, dia sungguh-sungguh melangsungkan pesta pernikahannya dengan Milawati di rumah yang selama ini ditinggalinya bersama isteri dan kedua orang mertuanya. Hal ini persisnya terjadi setelah sekitar sebulan aku dan kedua orang tuaku angkat kaki dari rumah itu.
Di hari pesta pernikahan antara Mas Bani dan Milawati, hampir seharian aku mengurung diri di dalam kamar. Entah berapa banyak pula air mataku yang tertumpah. Hari itu hidupku serasa berhenti dan aku ingin secepatnya mati. Untunglah Lita, sahabatku sejak masih SD, yang datang untuk menghiburku.
“Aku yakin Mas Bani tidak sepenuhnya bisa mengontrolsemua peristiwa ini, Widhi!kata Lita yang menemaniku di kamar.
“Bagaimana bisa kau berkeyakinan seperti itu,Lit?” Tanyaku sambil coba menekan kesedihan.
Lita mengatur nafasnya. Dia lalu bercerita seperti ini, “Barusan tadi aku sempat datang ke pesta itu. Aku sengaja memperhatikan sikap dan ekspresi wajah Mas Bani. Walau pun dia tampak ramah menyambut setiap tamu yang datang, tapi dari roman Wajahnya aku tahu persis kalau dia tidak sepenuhnya menikmati pesta itu. Dia sepertinya sangat tertekan. Bahkan, kulihat sesekali wajah Mas Bani berubah murung. Kulihat juga dia sering seperti mencari-cari seseorang, dan aku yakin yang dia cari itu adalah dirimu, Wid!”
Ah, kalau benar apa yang dikatakan Lita itu, apakah aku harus merasa iba kepada Mas Bani? Bukankah dia sudah sedemikian sempurna menyiksa dan menyakiti perasaanku?
Cinta yang suci takkan pernah lekang di makan waktu dan derita. Setidaknya inilah yang kemudian terjadi atas diriku, ketika hari-hari belakangan ini kudengar bagaimana keadaan Mas Bani setelah hampir setengah tahun hidup berumah tangga dengan Mila. Aku tiba-tiba merasa sangat iba kepada Mas Bani!
“Katanya sekarang Mas Bani itu benar-benar seperti pembantu. Banyak orang yang sering melihat dia sedang menjemur pakaian di halaman samping rumahnya. Bahkan, hihh… amit-amit sampai menjemur pakaian dalam isterinya segala!” Cerita Lita yang hari itu datang mengunjungiku yang masih tinggal di rumah papan tua milik kedua orang tuaku.
Aku tidak terlalu terkejut mendengar apa yang diceritakan oleh Lita, sebab sebelumnya aku juga pernah mendengar hal semacam itu dari beberapa orang tetangga Mas Bani, yang kebetulan datang mengunjungiku. Bahkan, ada seorang tetangga yang mengatakan padaku kalau Mas Bani sering terlihat belanja kebutuhan dapur di pasar, sementara Mila, isterinya, setiap hari hanya sibuk bersolek diri.
Mendengar semua itu, perasaan iba dan sayangku kepada Mas Bani kembali bersemu dan tumbuh dengan subur. Tapi, bagaimana mungkin aku akan bisa kembali padanya? Bukankah dia kini telah menjadi milik Mila, meskipun belum ada status perceraian antara aku dengan dirinya?
Demi mendapatkan solusi dari apa yang kuharapkan, maka sengaja kutuliskan kisahku Ini untuk Rubrik Catatan Hitam. Aku berharap semoga kiranya pengasuh rubrik ini dapat memberikan jalan terbaik, yang Insya Allah akan kuamalkan dengan baik pula. ©️KyaiPamungkas.

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Корея выложила снимки, сделанные во время самого мощного запуска ракеты за последние годы.
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Верхушка штатов в понедельник заявили, что недавний рост активности требует возобновления переговоров с Пхеньяном.
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ЮК и Япония первыми сообщили об испытаниях в воскресенье после того, как обнаружили его в своих противоракетных системах.
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Северокорейский аналитик Анкит Панда заявил, что отсутствие г-на Кима и язык, который искользовался в средствах массовой информации для описания запуска, позволяют полагать, что это испытание было предназначено для проверки того, что БРСД работает должным образом, а не для того, чтобы продемонстрировать новую силу.
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